Wanted: Skills

I need to find a creative or skillful outlet, and whatever that outlet may be, I need to make it profitable. But here’s the problem: I’m not very creative, or skillful. If anyone out there has a tip on how to find relevant hidden talents, please let me know. I will try anything.

Growing up, life was always about doing the “right” things and making “good” choices. Being kind and obedient were the only options. While I’ve had a lot of encouragements and compliments, I also had other opposites. Those discouragements were the reasons I let go some of the things I liked doing.

During one of our school plays in fourth grade, my music teacher busted me out for being a horrible singer. He wasn’t the first to do so, though. A few years before that, one of the church coordinators in charge of the youth’s Easter performance laughed after she asked me to sing the alphabet song. I was out of tune, yet she didn’t bother helping me. One of my aunts also once told me, “You like singing, but singing doesn’t like you.” Ouch. I don’t remember how old I was, but definitely younger than nine. I realized I’m not made to sing. I still do, though… in the car mostly.

During my freshman year in high school, my English Honors teacher criticized the way I said the word “the” during a group project video. She told me, “You’re in America. You have to soften your “th” sound.” I had to apologize for the way I spoke. She gave me a lower grade than the rest of my group, even though we all worked the same amount of time together. While I don’t blame her for anything else besides a crushed self-esteem, she was the reason I decided to stop talking too much. Before that moment, I wanted to become a journalist and a news anchor. Meh, I’m not pretty enough anyway.

Is now also a good time to talk about a horrible time in my life when my “American” cousins decided to outcast me for reasons unknown (to me, at least)? I was ignored during get-togethers, my friends were sent online messages saying mean remarks about me, and now that we are much older, I still feel the hurt every once in a while. But hey, whatever right?

This post was not meant to be such a downer, but it kind of helped typing it all out. I am looking forward to brighter days. It’s coming! 🙂

Happy Resurrection Day! Happy Easter!

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